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in west philidelphia born in raised [13 Aug 2005|10:31pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

im watching the prince of bel air

i have so many internet things to do.
i havent been here in forever, not like i really need to, but ill just check out my groups and friends.

no one comments on my el jay anyway.

[COMMENT]

another day, 3 otherdollars. [29 May 2005|03:56pm]
[ mood | awake ]

you know i wish it wasnt so rainy out,

no one comments in here so i think itll be my last blog for a while

no one even looks at it.

anyhow i have to go now... i dont reall yhave anything else to do but add people on myspace

so leave a coment for me.

ill be here.
ill always be here.

[COMMENT]

.. mc chris [03 May 2005|07:53pm]
[ mood | awake ]

yeah im listening to that rightnow

and tomorrow is late start, no one really reads this
but i think i do this more for myself than other people

so yeah, today kenneths talking to me.

this means i might have done something right.

[COMMENT]

maybe memories [14 Apr 2005|01:22am]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

yeah, im definetly a loser for writing two blogs about the same thing in the same day.

its late and no ones up, so give me some leeway PLEASE

GOOSHH..

anyhow today i went to garden streeet market with alysssa tempi heather and myself and we explored.

late start wed. is for lovers....?

anyhow, we went to garden street and got a red bull and chicken sandwiches.
i felt occupied and excersized. and i didnt even eat all of the sandwich.
if you find a red bull can on the sidewalk while going to the high school, you know that was our can.
anyhow, it was alysas birthday today, and i made her a card cause im cool like that and passed it around to her history class

getting people to sign that made me tense, and excited, and late to history, but daley doesnt mind anyhow
i reminded daley of an old lesson and he said he loved me for it.

history teachers are crazy.

anyhow, i got alyssa the maybe memories cd,
which fit so perfectly into how the day went.
its incredible.

the is the mongest post in a while
i love jenny garland, she gave me a stick of bubblemint gum.
it was sweet.

[COMMENT]

everyone is trying to get to the bar the name of the bar, the bar is called heaven [12 Mar 2005|07:28pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

the band in heaven plays my favorite song they play it once, they play it all night long heaven heaven is a place when nothing ever happens

yeah, im listening to the fever few again and i realize that no one reads my ell jay so i should prolly put it in my info or something, so i think i will, anyhow...


today i had a snowball fight and i shoveled a lot and i will tomorrow cause the snow never seems to give up.. anyhow..

i love you all

i love this song

its amazing and so are you

[COMMENT]

its chizzles birthday [17 Feb 2005|09:42am]
[ mood | apathetic ]

i havent ewritten in this thing forever cause no one really responds.

its all set though i dont really care


half of my cds are broken..
i think i should care more..
i think i should slap my sister.

but thats just me...

[COMMENT]

alright [09 Jan 2005|11:17pm]
[ mood | calm ]

i was soo bored this weekend..

andi didnt feel like doing anything
anything at all.
anyhow...
yeah, so i shoveled snow on saturday, at night, right when it was snowiung

no one told me to shovel.
and i went to sleep early,
i woke up at 430, talked to mom, watched tv until 8...

realized that snopw accumulated over the time that i stopped shoveling the night before

and shoveled all of the snow in my driveway (without anyone telling me again)
i dont know why.. i just did.

also yesterday was a really bad emotional day.
really really bad. i just cried....

for no reason, i cried, and yelled.
man, i was out of control.

[COMMENT]

sing when you think no ones listening [04 Jan 2005|03:42pm]
[ mood | tired ]

yeah, i saw this music vid the other day cause i watch music vids all of the time

and i saw this one video that was placed on a train, with people who looked like everyday people...

its called existentialism on prom night
and the video is just as unique as the song. the song is played out on a train through the people... and its like everyone knows the song... no mattewr who they are.. everyone on the train knows the song.

new years waas long and boring

christmas was fun cause it came soo soon.
i got a lot of art things that made me smile.

i hate vacations. i hate hate hate vacations, they are long and boreing. and BLAH...

but it beats school by a tiny bit.

leave a comment
leave a comment
i should get MTV or something to advertise comments for my livejournal
or pdiddy, cause everyone voted... he said vote or die..
so pdiddy says comment or die. i heard him myself...
over and out
-jess

[COMMENT]

break a window, burn the souflee, scream a lulluby [13 Dec 2004|08:18am]
[ mood | happy ]

i know nothing stays the same, but if youre willing to play the game..

yeah im listening to copelands CD.

i went over kristas house and had a grand time.. anyonew like the new outline?

many many thanks to ryan. thanksthanksthanksthanks thanks again ryan.

yeah, im drawing a lot of magazine pictures again.

i think i need more people to pose for me. any takers?

OVER and <<<>>>

-jessica

[COMMENT]

alright alright. [09 Dec 2004|07:25pm]
[ mood | predatory ]

im bored

i need to go christmas shopping.. and ummm


i need to go to kristas house tomorrow.


thats all i think.

[COMMENT]

catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away... [02 Dec 2004|07:14pm]
[ mood | weird ]

alright, im bored.
today i went to the holiday fair, which was kinda fun kinda not.

going to sea road again was srazy weird, just all these flashbacks and memories and mrs cherry and the librarian (who i cant figure out the name of, but i think that it was mrs hazel?) and then Mrs nine, my art art teacher from wayy back, who always had pencils and things in her hair. she wsa actually my first grade art teacher too, and she remebered my name which was equally awesome as well.

i told her about art and everything and she was happy for me. i felt like a kid again, i totally forgot about that place. its new and smaller than i remeber it to be....

total crazy flashbacks
i really hated elementary school.
i didnt have any good friends...

blah... whatever.


-jessica

[COMMENT]

she warms my heart, and knows where all my imperfections are, [30 Nov 2004|06:37pm]
[ mood | bored ]

.. and she said that i was the brightest little firefly in her jar.

yeah im bored

thanksgiving was boring..

i hate vacation.
i hate vacation.
i hate vacation.

i think that it gives you to much free time. wayy too much, and it fucks up my schedule..

i hate hate HATE vacations.
yeah, well im bored now, and i have nothing better to do that post another entry in here. i watched that movie dead end when kasey came over. it was a good movie but she didnt think so on "lack of plot"...

who the hell waits for a plot when there are ghosts everywhere? GOSHhhhhh

i love the movie. i think it was good, and it leaves you to think about it, and i love movies that make you think.

im bored as hell. bleh.

[COMMENT]

stayed up all night writing all of my thoughts down cause communication was low [23 Nov 2004|05:54pm]
[ mood | thirsty ]

im listening to funeral for a friend right now. i like them, for a while i had this "bend your arms to look like wings" buddy icon...

ithought it was just something that looked cool. i found out it was a song though. anyhow yeah. so right now im pretty bored, i should have written in this
i feel like takeing 5 showers in a row. bleh. whatever..

anyhow yesterday i was supposed to go over kaseys house. and i got into an argument with mum about going over to her house..

and she doesnt want me to go over there because i always go over there, but i have nothing better to do AND i wanted to show her that movie i got, and watch it with her. but i needed a ride and i asked mum and she was being all dumb caus ei was grounded from the computer, and since i was grounded from the computer, i should be groumnded at home and BLAH fucking blah blah.

so after an hour of arguing at mum for a ride ( I NEED a car soo bad) after an hour or so, i got her to say yes to bringing me. i call kaseys place, and her mum picks up and tells me that SHE can give me a ride over there, that shell tell kasey to call me when she gets back from the barn or whatever( she said shed be back by about six o clock).

i was going to walk, it would only be an hour or so, but i agued with mum for so long... anyhow so since i was getting a ride from chrissy, i told mum to forget about giving me a ride. and i was gonna get picked up by dad...

(dads car it totally fucked)

anyhow, six o clock comes around i call her.. not home.. not home.. 20 minutes go by.. not home .. not home.. i give up, and hten remerber to call again at 9 o clock, and its too late for her to pick me up, shes tired or something and she cant pick me up. i got ready put everything in za bag, cd player, cds clothes, the works. i put them all in a bag, after i got dressed. i biurnt 2 cds while i was waiting...

i call kasey at 9 o clock.. and shes like.. WHOOPS youre too late, im going to play sims, bye..

and she goes
and im left alone, at my house.
with a while lot of dishes...
kinda pissed, just bleh,
.. and im not thirsty, i just like the look of the figure thingy..
whatever,
-jess

(6) [COMMENT]

got my penny saved, im a sugar daddy [18 Nov 2004|09:22pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

okay, ever since i was little i would always stare at things... i would always just look at them and look at everything as if it were all precious.

i realize i do that to this day, and i just almost when i look at it i analyze it, and just look at details.. for example.. right now, the computer is reflecting this light, cause the livingroom light isnt on, the computer's reflecting light on to a big marker beside it. and just the way it looks, the marker i mean, i could just look at it for hours.. i can look at objects for ours and become fasincated with them. if im bored, or not. ill just lok at random things and find them to be interesting. I think thats why i draw soo much.. its cause i like too look at things, no matte rif its a different way of looking at it or not. It feels like i cant have somehting original.

im angry though. im angry that i feel so artistic, when people who feel less artistic than i do, people who dont sketch outside of class or care about art as much as i do, its when those people get into classes like am/fm or honors fucking art, we dont have an AP program. but we can choose to do AP things in class there. OF course, im not one to judge whether ot not people feel more artistic. I just think i take it more seriously. I look at things.. i lookat them for hours without looking away.
Drawing is MY time.
Painting is MY time.
and even though i got noticed when i was a freshman, im invisible to the art world now.
no one knows my fucking name.
i am just another soul who wants to become some form of an artist. i want to get payed for what i love so much. so i could become a teacher.
anything.

anyhow...
im watching this movie, its called "dead end" Its a horror, you know and i went to bullmoose thinking i could get that "my little eye" movie i tlaked about in my last entry. But they didnt have it (cause its a kickass forign film) and yeah. i talked to the dude there, and i told him i was looking for a scary movie, and what that movie was about. I had seen him before, he played for the aniversary of bullmoose. yeah. i felt nervous though, i felt tension. JUst tlaking to him... maybe it was his flciking of his emo red hair... but he seems like a nice guy. and no i dont loove him

i do not have a crush.
but i just felt nervous. and the only reason i type all this out... is none. i am bored and sonyas prolly not gonna finish the movie.
no one is going to read this anyhow. so im figuring that it doesnt matter anyhow.

bored and in need of someone to watch a movie with
-jess

[COMMENT]

okay.. its late and i just finished this trippy movie [14 Nov 2004|02:25am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

okay there was this movie "my little eye"

the name sucks, but what its about isnt. i just felt soo afraid of this movie i think its cause my mum can come home at any moment and im afraid someones going to come in through the door and like shoot me, seriously this movie is soo scary. i dunno i really wanted to see "saw" cause i wwas in need of a scary movie. i think ill just own |"my little eye" for a scare...

its defiently not one of those movies like.. the ring or whatever... its definetly too late to watch scary movies... and im soo disoriented i guess, im listening to "the dive" on fuse.. just underground indie music or something like that.. "client"-radio... is playing, and i dont know who they are.. so yeahh

back to the movie, im a little but more calmed down. the movie by the way was about these 5-6 people living in a house.... and it was some sort of reality thing, and there wasnt a bitch or a gay guy, just like regular, people, who try to stay calm, and dont always freak out unless the moment calls for freaking out...

they were supposed to be on a show in a scary house.. acreepy house in the middle of nowhere, and they are always being recorded... by these webcams around them. and then weird things start to happen like.. things that get into peoples heads. you know when you have a memory of something scary, like a scary dream, if you tell that story to someone they know about it and like.. not make it come true, just like mess with your head, making you believe someones after you so you cavein...

and the people were soo brave in there, and like didnt frsak out at all at the littler things.. which i guess scares me cause when they did freak out it was like something did happen...

and i dunno, at the end of the movie it did thgat routine "these are all ficticious characters blah blah" but i read further, andi guess this is what scaress me now... "anything that happens that is similar to this movie is just coincidental" and i thought, wait, what if it does happen...

i mean just like random killers killing contest people.. like if someone made up a fake internet webshow... just to kill people.. that part freaks me out i guess, just now, i just finished watching the movie.

and they dont have the proper expression for how i feel, im tired scarred stunned and like.. shocked all at the same time...

but the face thing i put is what i look like now..

anyhow, goodnigght...

-jess

[COMMENT]

im not being too dramatic, just the way i gotta have it... [07 Nov 2004|12:59am]
[ mood | tired ]

okay okay, so im listening to hip hop or whatever...

it all started when i heard something like it in andrews car...

today began with a phone call from emily, i woke up with uber bedhead hair....
which doesnt really matter, but emily wante dot do something so i gave her andrews number,

she called back telling me that he went to seans house, so i called them telling them that emily wanted to do something. they called her telling her that they needed help getting to her house....
so she called me, and i called her, and she called sean, and sean called her telling her that he lost andrew, or andrew got lost,
then..
sean found emilys house.
they found andrew, who happened to pickup chris/craig somewhere along the way.
they both made it to my house. sean came in.
we went out to the cars and drove to walmart for the daily neseccities... and then to bullmoose for our daily dose of music we cant afford...
i checked out andrews cd collection....
hmm...
then we walked aimlessly thinking about things we could be doing if we all had money..
some of us had stuff to do, so we ended up going home 30 minutes after hanging out at random places.

i had to babysit for this girl, shes like 8, and i feel uber bad charging the lady 6 dollars an hour to babysit this awesome kid named angelica... i think ill loser the price... i got like 23 dollars though.

i think its cause the mother is soo nice, i talked to her in the car whilst we were in my dirveway... she is such a nice person, i really dsont get how she would date someone who looked so geezer-like.

i need to go to the bank

all in all it was fun though.
next week bowling? maybe... i really want to fucking see SAW...

i should have on halloween, and i have been craving a scary movie, like dawn of the dead... or something like that, you know something thats like house of a thousand corpses, anything ....

hmm MOVIE NIGHT BETTER FUCKING BE NEXT WEEK.

that is all.^_^

-jess

[COMMENT]

ive met so many men, its like theyre all the same (the starting lines version of IM real) [27 Oct 2004|10:51pm]
i have the new used cd, and ihave my chemical romance. but ive been listening to burnt cd's all week.
all men are not the same. if you get to know them more, they get to become more than sex-crazed dudes. anyhow... i dunno i miss nathan a lot, and i think hes at work. "cause im real, the way you smell the way you look you style you hair"- all emo like..

emo=love (and sadness for evan and everyone emo)

"and i cant go on without you!"... yeah im missing nathan, and sean was tlkaing about a new show on comedy central, apparently emily was tlkaing about him picking us up at the school and bringing us all somewhere.
i dont know where.
i dont know how.
but emily said, and i guess that means something.

and kasey is talking to me again. its awkward after not talking to her for a while.
friday is the party, and i cannot wait, although i cant think of a costume.
i was thinking crack whore... or white trash or a fucking pregnant nun.
raven seems like the best thing, its all emo, like my SOUL
*squints eyes all emo-like*

yeah, and for halloween i dont know, maybe ill go over vanessa's house and go to random people's houses, cause, on the 3tst, apparently everyone in her neighborhood gives out free candy...

unbelivable. just unbelivable.

i mean, who would want to give out free candy when its so cold?
i think theres a whole story behind halloween, has somethign to deal with scaring away the dead..
how do you get candy out of dead people?
maybe someone just dressed up one day, and like went door to door asking for free food, and they just gave it to them, and thsats how it all started
GO REDSOX!!!
comment in my journal.
i will love you forever. (<<<this part only applies to you if your nate ^_^)
[COMMENT]

ive met so many men, its like theyre all the same (the starting lines version of IM real) [27 Oct 2004|10:51pm]
i have the new used cd, and ihave my chemical romance. but ive been listening to burnt cd's all week.
all men are not the same. if you get to know them more, they get to become more than sex-crazed dudes. anyhow... i dunno i miss nathan a lot, and i think hes at work. "cause im real, the way you smell the way you look you style you hair"- all emo like..

emo=love (and sadness for evan and everyone emo)

"and i cant go on without you!"... yeah im missing nathan, and sean was tlkaing about a new show on comedy central, apparently emily was tlkaing about him picking us up at the school and bringing us all somewhere.
i dont know where.
i dont know how.
but emily said, and i guess that means something.

and kasey is talking to me again. its awkward after not talking to her for a while.
friday is the party, and i cannot wait, although i cant think of a costume.
i was thinking crack whore... or white trash or a fucking pregnant nun.
raven seems like the best thing, its all emo, like my SOUL
*squints eyes all emo-like*

yeah, and for halloween i dont know, maybe ill go over vanessa's house and go to random people's houses, cause, on the 3tst, apparently everyone in her neighborhood gives out free candy...

unbelivable. just unbelivable.

i mean, who would want to give out free candy when its so cold?
i think theres a whole story behind halloween, has somethign to deal with scaring away the dead..
how do you get candy out of dead people?
maybe someone just dressed up one day, and like went door to door asking for free food, and they just gave it to them, and thsats how it all started
GO REDSOX!!!
comment in my journal.
i will love you forever. (<<<this part only applies to you if your nate ^_^)
[COMMENT]

cover up, or spread it out... pick and chose, or pass it out.. [18 Oct 2004|02:56pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

i got my sound back on my computer and im really excited about that...
yesterday i was unable to do a lot of things. i feel bad for all of them. i didnt get to apologixe to kasey, now that i think of it more i should of just been there for her at least, and i think i was wallowed up in too much thought to see that...
so if you read this kasey, im really sorry for not being at your show. i dont know what i can do to makeup for that. i should have supported you at your last show, but i didnt, ill go to every other one... i really am sorry, and i really dont know what else to say other than i was being really... mean and i shouldnt have... i sont know what to do about it now... well.. if you want i could prolly go do your barn chores for you? or something.. i would you know.. like today i was actually thinking about going to your house from school and like standing on your doorstep to apologize... would you have like.. hit me with a stick?

i dunno.. but i really thought about doing that for a while. but i feared splinters... though i do deserve them for being such a bitch?> was i a bitch.. i was a jerk maybe? or just unsupportive? i dont know.. i really am sorry though.


i dont know what else to say. i think ill call you. that might make it worse.. im not good with words unless i think about what im going to say.. and i did think about a lot... i actually think too much...

anyhow.. other than that facepainting was fun... and i like hacked up a lung in kristas car- fun fun... and shanta's mullet made my day.

[COMMENT]

okay [08 Oct 2004|12:24pm]
i finally have a break... i am tired after working about 2 hours (today).... for kim which means constant cleaning and such.. but i guess it wasnt as bad today as it could have been...

still bad though.. i mean today i was vaccuming her basement stairs (and their vaccum is loud) i hear screaming.. and i was like hmm.. that must be eric being a gooberhead or something... then eric came over and told me to hurry that it was an emergency or something so i like ran and it was KIM that was screaming...

turns out she was screaming cause of a snake she saw... she told me shed add ten dollars to my check if i caught it, which i did, some people can get soo scared about little things like that. really, i men it was just a snake.

anyhow, i miss nathan, i havent talked to him much since yesterday a little, and it was while i babysat, which i htink i will on saturday and sunday... i am rolling in the dough this week, i mena i think this is the most money ive ever eraned in a course of like.. all my 15 years..
in one week.. its awesome, but its time consuming... 6 dollars an hour for kim and 3 dollars an hour for heather... which is no problem cause i dont do anything

anyhow thatw what ive been doing, not writing poems or anyhting really, ive been thinking of submitting a poem, but im not too sure,

so if you read this, comment, yes or no on publishing my poem
[COMMENT]

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